However, never fear, I'm leaving you with a whole raft of Cockney Rhyming Slang to be getting on with.
Believe it or not, they are all absolutely genuine!
Apples and Pears stairs
Laugh and a Joke smoke
Chas and Dave shave
Whistle and Flute suit
Usage = I just got a new whistle for work
Pork Pies lies
Usage = She’s always telling porkies
Rock 'n' Roll dole
Pete Tong wrong
Usage = Everything’s going a bit Pete Tong!
Jumping Jack back
Basil Fawlty balti (curry)
Britney Spears beers
Usage = Coming down the pub for a few Britneys?
Richard the Third bird (as in girlfriend)
Usage = Tony’s got a new Richard!
Apple Fritter bitter, pint of
Kingdom Come bum
Arthur Ashe cash
Usage = I’m running short of arthurs
Winona Ryder cider
Usage = Fancy a pint of winona?
Septic tank Yank (!)
(See you next week mes amis)